Love, hate and connection: from dreaming power to resolutions. A Deep Democracy gym

Is there a dreaming power behind the experience of hate that has meaningful potential and purpose?

Join us in good company to get somewhere new in a friendly and supportive encouraging learning space 

Are we doomed to ride the love–hate un-merry-go-round forever?

Love–hate can flare up in a flash or linger for years, wearing down body and mind. It shows up in relationships, families, in teams and organisations, in world situations and hotspots, and in our interior world and dreams. you may know whats like to be the hater and the hated.

Hate exists and apparently is here to stay for a while longer. Like any experience, hate has a content part and a dreaming power. We will explore ways to connect with inner and outer liberation dimensions that are usually hidden within extreme content.

This seminar is a research space for anyone curious to use deep democracy facilitation awareness to go somewhere new.

We will explore our topic using diverse sensory channels like movement, sound and sketching, to make it easier to get the good essence (dreaming power)  while not having to get into experiences that don’t feel great.

The foundations

The discovery practices and approach has Process Work foundations:

• Three parallel worlds. Arnold Mindell describes three worlds we live in at the same time, which rarely touch. Consensus reality is the world of facts. Dreaming is the world of subjective experience. The essence orquantum world appears as a sudden flash of unity in diversity, a sense of awe that changes everything. One moment I was there, and suddenly I’m here. Across an edge into a new identity.

• Life myth. Each of us is born with a lifelong pattern that is present in good times and hard times. It guides in non-obvious ways, and gives us an anchor for appreciating whatever happens.

• Identity shifting. Our everyday identity clings to familiar roles and wrestles with elusive opposing forces, the ghost roles that can keep us stuck as victims. Holding tightly to the story keeps us pinned. If we let go of the content for a moment, we also loosen the identity tied to it, and dreaming can come through.

• Role rotation. C.G. Jung called it enantiodromia: when one side reaches its extreme, it naturally turns into its opposite. Mindell, a physicist and psychologist, saw that consciously rotating between extreme roles lowers escalation and brings relief.

• Dreaming power. Everything moves, and every part carries a dreaming power connected to the whole. Essence drops in or pops up. These moments bring joy and relief by the awe of it all in many different forms.

• Bringing it home. Completion may be the sheer beauty of appreciating what occurred, with a lingering joy and optimism. For others, the work is complete when the discovery lands back into everyday life. The future begins with the next step.

A deep democracy facilitation gym

These foundation practices wake up your inner facilitator so you can notice new information as it emerges, often hidden inside what we call problems, including love and hate dynamics. As in any gym, we build strength, endurance and balance through repetition and amplification in a goodhearted and encouraging learning environment.

The basic idea is to make it easier in the moment, or soon after, in direct interaction without bypassing your truth, and without escalating.

Examples of Skills and Drills:

Trust your experience 

Love what is happening and believe it’s happening, including the experience of what you hate. Get aware of your inner clock – when its time to do nothing, when its time to act ⏰

Detach/drop content

Attachment to content can keep us pinned to a narrative. Dropping love and hate content can make it easier to open the way for a dreaming experience 🌈

I’m in the same boat as you ⛵️

Show you are there, while staying connected with you – today, you, tomorrow me

Frame where we are 🖼️

Wherever we are, however terrible, there is often something relieving about seeing the landscape as it is, with a bit of distance. Learn to use neutral language to describe exactly what is happening to get to a deeper essence beneath what you love and hate (hint: communication channels, signals, hotspots/coolspots, atmospheres/moods/weather metaphors) to make it easier to help yourself and others get where you actually are

De-escalation: A drop of you in me 

Like the ying+yang symbol, ☯️ stay in your essence and access a drop of the opponent in the interaction

Day 1 — Personal: Connect with personal dreaming power and enjoy getting to know this special power that is always with you – with the help of your inner teacher

Day 2 — Collective: Connect with collective dreaming power by engaging with diverse stakeholders

Day 3 — SupaVision Practice Day: (Inspired by Ellen Schupbach PhD) Discover your unique talent and gift in how you show up as yourself in facilitating another person in the middle. You can also try collegial coaching, facilitated by Julia, where the group offers fresh questions to assist you gain insight into your issue.

What to expect: Experiential exercises, short theory inputs to illuminate experience, inner work and thought experiments  to enjoy your internal ground, practices in pairs and in the whole group.

For facilitators, coaches, educators, conflict resolvers, leaders, therapists and curious humans. Process Work experience is welcome but not required.

Morning and afternoon refreshments provided by local participants who are slow food artisans.

PS Check back to see updates to the seminar program from time to time, as we get closer.

📅 Dates: 14-16 February, 2027] ⏰ Times: 9.30-5pm
📍 Venue: Venue: Rudolf Steiner University College, Professor Dahls Gate 30, Oslo — a cool village atmosphere with plenty of accommodation options, cafes and eating places nearby.
🗣 Language: English
💶 Fee: early bird / regular / reduced or scholarship – see below
✍️ Register: below, and by 1 December for early bird

Julia Wolfson, PhD, Dipl. PW: I love 💓 practicing Process Work as a facilitator, coach, friend, frenemy and family member, and I love teaching in the tradition of my teachers Arnold and Amy Mindell and Ellen and Max Schupbach. I work internationally with leaders, teams and human-service organisations. I wrote the book Applying Deep Democracy in Human Services to make it easier for people in caregiving and advocacy settings to rethink the world of helping from multiple perspectives, starting with the dreaming path of the person. I love ❤️ being part of the Deep Democracy Institute International team and collaborating with great colleagues  in our global Deep Democracy Alliance.